Do you believe in love at first sight?

Side view of a couple flirting and looking each other in front a fireplace

I do. I admit it. I’m a hopeless romantic who, yes, does believe in love at first sight. I’m not saying it’s the only way love happens. But – skeptics be damned – I’ve known too many couples who were partners from the start. They felt an instant connection, and it wasn’t only physical, but emotional and intellectual as well.

If the attraction is only physical, that would be lust at first sight. I’ve known couples like that, too – couples who lay eyes on each other for the very first time and feel a powerful chemical attraction, if little else. In instances where chemical attraction evolves into emotion, love may follow. Otherwise, the prognosis is not good. If something happens to the physical – illness, accident, wanderlust – and there’s nothing else, what’s left?

Love can grow out of friendship. I’ve always been an advocate of this. It gives people a chance to vet each other – to make sure they are emotionally compatible – before committing to something beyond friendship. Haven’t we all known couples who were friends for years before becoming romantically involved? Let’s call this like at first sight.

And loathing at first sight? I’m talking about couples who couldn’t stand each other when they first met, just rubbed each other totally the wrong way, until something happened to dissolve the hatred.

Before I began writing mainstream fiction, I wrote fifty romances – books in which 80% of the story is romance and 20% is something else. In some of these, my hero and heroine fell in love at first sight. In others, the physical came first, or friendship, or, yes, dislike. In some instances, there was intrigue, curiosity, even terror at first sight, none of which start with ‘l’ but all of which represent an emotion, and where emotion exists, there is the possibility of love.

What about Blueprints? This book is a novel about family, but even aside from issues of mother-daughter competition and instant parenthood, there are two touching love stories in these pages. Caroline and Dean have been friends for years and were so from the start. They’re a perfect example of like at first sight. Jamie and Chip are something else. Is what they experience love at first sight? In as much as either of them is thinking about love, through the chaos of raising each a young child, it might be that. Or simply a case of misery loving company? What’s your thought on this?

BTW, as I was writing this blog, I received a note from a reader.  Other than one phrase, which I deleted so that it wouldn’t give anything away for those of you who haven’t read the book, here’s what she said:  “I just finished Blueprints and absolutely loved it.  Yay for Jamie.  I met my husband and we were engaged two weeks later. Seems to be, if you know, you know!! We’d have been married sooner but had to wait a few months to get the big wedding together. We were 22 and 23 when we got married, 43 years ago.”

Thanks for this beautiful note, Lee-Ellen.  I so identify with you.  My husband and I met in college. We were each dating other people at the time, but I remember many nights in the library when we sat and talked for hours. Like at first sight? I think so. At least, until we broke up with the people we were dating and started dating ourselves, at which point it became more.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If you have a heart-throb, how did you two meet?


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  1. Cathie Kahle on June 25, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    My husband and I met through I joined for a 3 month stint on December 27th, 2007. Being a large woman, not one man wanted to talk to me. They closed me out without even saying hello. My husband signed up for a free weekend. We were matched on March 2nd, 2008. He immediately poked me, and we went through the eHarmony process, which we both advocate. He signed up for a month and we continued communicating. First through email, and then on the phone. Our conversations were, from the beginning, very easy. We met face to face for the first time on March 30th, 2008. We met at a diner near my house where I felt safe, and he was all for making me feel safe. We were at the diner from 1:45 pm until 5pm and then sat in his street rod until 6:30. Just talking away. The only reason we finally left each other was because I had to go feed my dogs. It felt so right, as the Alabama song says that yes, it was love at first sight, though we both knew what the other looked like. He thinks I’m beautiful and I think he’s very handsome. It took us until July 13th, 2014 for him to ask me to marry him, but that’s because of personal issues on both sides that needed to be taken care of (not another relationship or marriage). We got married on 11/1/2014, in jeans and t-shirts. We had t-shirts made for all of our guests. Navy blue shirts, with the outline of our log cabin we will be building, our names and date of our wedding!! They turned out fantastic. I love him more every day and he loves me more every day.

    • Barbara Delinsky on June 25, 2015 at 4:08 pm

      I have goose bumps, Cathie. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story!

  2. Jen Fishler on June 26, 2015 at 12:19 am

    I was sitting in a hotel restaurant in FL, too exhausted from a long day of traveling to bother eating my steak, salad, or baked potato, when this Barry White voice said I looked like I needed this…this being a martini. I hate martinis. But I looked up into the greenest eyes I’d ever seen. He was too handsome for his own good, or mine, and I figured he was a player…I mean, what a line! But he called the manager over to vouch for him when I refused the drink. “He’s a prince,” she said, “a real mensch; I’ve known him for years, you’re perfectly safe, and you’re a lucky girl.”
    And she was right. I was lucky. By the time he’d polished off my steak, salad, and baked potato, I was in love with the man who’d ordered a cheese omelet for me – and picked up the tab for a kid who’d been stuck with a large bill by his buddies who’d eaten, then scampered. The kid didn’t have enough money to pay the bill. “He’ll get the money back to me,” Mr. Green Eyes said. And he was right, the kid did. The very next day. With the nicest note: “I was so lucky you were there,” the kid wrote…
    Made two of us.

  3. Mary on June 27, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    Absolutely. It was September 7th 1985. It was the end of summer and one of those Indian summer nights in September that Connecticut is known for. I was working temporary and my boss said go to that end of summer house party. There are lots of nice engineers there. I almost didn’t go. My friend and I went to have a drink first. We drove down the street and there were cars everywhere She said I’m not going. I said I’m going. I knew several people at the party and I noticed Bob right away. He was sort of by himself listening to music and playing the drums with his fingers on the bar. I wanted to know him but didn’t know how. So I started asking Roger who were engineers in the room and he was going to everyone but Bob. So I went up to Bob and said are you an engineer? He said yes. I said okay thanks. Walked back to Roger looked at him and said “he’s an engineer.” Bob was intrigued. Walked over. Started to talk to me. We spent the night “dancing in the dark” (it was Bruce Springsteen’s Back in the USA album year) to music. We began dating and have been together almost 30 years with a 25 year old, 23 year old and 21 year old. Do I believe in Love at first sight? Absolutely.

    • Barbara Delinsky on June 27, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Reading your story, Mary, I TOTALLY believe. Thanks for posting it!

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