BOOK-GIVING AS A HOLIDAY TRADITION
My family doesn’t have a lot of holiday traditions -- in part because my mother died early and simply wasn’t there to start them. So I live vicariously through the long-standing traditions of friends, and I get pleasure hearing the stories of others.
On that score, I received an amazing letter last week from a reader of mine, Pamela DuVall. It is so beautifully written, and so captures the holiday spirit, that I asked if I could reprint it for you all to see. She gave her permission.
“Dear Barbara, I thought it was time to write you and thank you for your wonderful work. I am 44, a wife and mother of two daughters, living in Folsom, California. My Mother passed away from cancer in 1999. She was 56. I, like she, loved to read. Every year, I couldn't wait to get my hands on the tell-tale wrapped book under the Christmas tree with my name on it. Growing up, I generally devoured the gift in three days. As an adult, I looked forward to spending a few minutes here and there, reading her pick of the year. On December 25, 1998, my mother gave me the last of the 'Christmas books'. She died in May of 1999. My mother and I were very close. Because of the caring nature of my husband and family, I was able to spend much of the last months with her. It was the greatest gift of my life. So, why am I writing to you? Well, I had lost my desire to read and went years without the hunger for the written word. Last Christmas, I felt a familiar twinge, and began looking for the book my Mother had given me in 1998. After opening a few covers, I found her signature tag line: Pam, Merry reading '98! Love, Mom and Dad. It was "Coast Road", and I wrapped my self in a hand knit afgan and began to read! I have since read "For My Daughters", "The Woman Next Door", and just finished "Family Tree". As a long-time knitter, I think "Family Tree" is my favorite, oh, perhaps, second to "Coast Road". I will be picking up "Three Wishes" to start tomorrow. Thank you for your inspiring stories and your part in bringing me back to the joy of reading!”
Thank you, Pam, for sharing such heartfelt thoughts. It is particularly meaningful to me to share your letter today, which is the anniversary of my own mother's death. I like to think that book-giving is something she might have done. Putting books at the center of a holiday tradition is the best idea ever, especialy when it immortalizes the giver. Please think of your mom each time you read Coast Road.
As for the rest of us, here we are, less than two weeks from Christmas. If anyone out there hasn’t found quite the right gift yet, please reread Pam’s note and think of starting a tradition with a book. What is that big blank front page meant for if not an inscription?
Do you already have holiday traditions that live on, year after year? I’d love to hear about them as we approach Christmas 2007. Why not post a comment here for all of us to read?
Comments
I usually give books as my "Secret Santa" gift for our holiday celebration at the office. Everyone has some type of interest, such as music trivia, baseball, mysteries, cooking, etc. that they would enjoy reading about. You can never go wrong with a book!
Posted by: Ellen Simon | December 13, 2007 08:53 AM
I love getting books as gifts. I love to read and cannot imagine not reading daily. I am fortunate that my kids have all turned out to be readers. And, yes, every Christmas they receive at least one book, if not several as well as gift cards from Chapters.
Posted by: Kathryn | December 13, 2007 12:55 PM
I also lost my mother to cancer when she was 60 and I was almost 45 or thereabouts-1992. I am now 60 and working two jobs-teach high school during the day and college at night. Her last request was for me to return to college and become a teacher-I did, and I finished 2 years after...I just finished my Master's this year. I could not read for a long time. I lost the desire. As I was going through a divorce at the time-it was even more complicated. I lived in my mother's room for 90 days (at the hospital) 2 hours from my home and business. It was my last gift to her. I am thankful for Barbara's books and YOU must read her book, UPLIFT...
Posted by: brenda | December 13, 2007 06:57 PM
My family and friends began an amazing tradition for us last year and followed through with it again this year.
My husband has brain cancer. He was diagnosed in July '06 and was given 6-12 months to live. Because we might not get another Christmas together and were out of state for treatment, we came home to our living room flooded with gifts and simple reminders of all the people behind us and supporting us through everything.
Thankfully, Jim made it through last year and we've made so many wonderful memories in 2007! Unless a miracle takes place, he doesn't have much time left on this earth. We came back today from Missouri where we were for another round of chemo and found our Christmas tree put up and decorated and gifts again adorning it. It's not the presents themselves, but the fact that so many people went out of their way to show us the true meaning of Christmas once again!
My goal is to continue the tradition under someone else's tree next year who is facing something similar to us because I know how much it means!
Posted by: Shirley | December 13, 2007 10:15 PM
One of my favorite things to do for the holiday (I suppose you could call it a personal tradition) is to drive around looking at all the lights on Christmas Eve. I love seeing what others in our little town have done to show their joy of Christmas through decorating their homes.
Posted by: LuAnn Morgan | December 17, 2007 05:53 PM
I love Christmas ... but for some reason it makes me quite emotional, I'm not really sure why. So reading Pam's letter; and thinking of how proud Barbara's mom would be of her today; and reading of Shirley's unselfish goal .. well my heart is full and the tears are brimming.
My husband's family never established any Christmas traditions. This is our 2nd year in New Zealand and we have no family nearby. But our children are of an age to really start enjoying Christmas so I've worked especially hard to start some traditions - trimming the tree together / baking special goodies for them / teaching them the Christmas story and telling why we give gifts.
And in our house, whatever the occasion, books are ALWAYS the gift of choice! We all four adore books and because we don't get to buy them constantly, we look forward to birthdays and Christmas and any other special event which warrants a book gift! We're ALL getting books this year.
Posted by: Melissa in NZ | December 19, 2007 10:06 PM
An ex-boyfriend's mother used to take a Christmas Ornament to each friend that she visited over the Christmas period. I thought this was a lovely tradition and I stole her idea when I got my own home.
So now, as the family is so large and we've begun a Secret Santa - just buying the one person a gift - I always buy the others a small Christmas ornament. And I take one with me to give to everyone we visit.
I didn't realise how much this was anticipated by the family, until my m-i-law commented upon how much she liked all the ornaments I've chosen for her over the years. Such a small thing - but it has apparently meant so much.
Usually costing just a few pounds, just goes to show how something so small can have quite an impact.
Hope you've had a great Christmas - sending all best wishes for the New Year xxx
Posted by: Jeanette, UK | December 27, 2007 03:03 PM
I started a holiday tradition that is shared only by myself, my daughter, and her late father. When my little girl was 5 her father passed away and I asked her if there was only one thing she could keep that had belonged to him what would it be? I wanted her first reaction something special of his that would always be hers. Her answer was "I want his pillow". I am so glad I asked her this because today she is 13 and that child still sleeps with that pillow. If someone else tries to lay their head on it, she politely and sometimes alarming tell them "Stop don't move, thats my dad's pillow and him and I are the only ones that lay our heads on it"! So every year at Christmas I pick out special pillow cases for "their" pillow and she looks forward to getting them every year!
Posted by: Connie | February 13, 2008 03:16 AM